I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize