Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
