What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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