So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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