Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY! http://tfl.nu/jz8m
  Replies (21) Good night (998) Bad night (4269)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out. http://tfl.nu/h447
  Replies (10) Good night (4887) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.

  (510): View more from California

  YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it. (510): YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7kxq
  Replies (133) Good night (1403) Bad night (29974)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i mean you met him at the daytona 500

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife (404): i mean you met him at the daytona 500 http://tfl.nu/ydp4
  Replies (32) Good night (988) Bad night (4926)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast... http://tfl.nu/eo63
  Replies (9) Good night (5296) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw
  Replies (35) Good night (1824) Bad night (4280)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ntux
  Replies (11) Good night (3779) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain. http://tfl.nu/vu8q
  Replies (11) Good night (2213) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4518) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one? http://tfl.nu/9wky
  Replies (13) Good night (1373) Bad night (2057)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday? http://tfl.nu/s08h
  Replies (5) Good night (2170) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1967) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT. http://tfl.nu/ygau
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (200)

Randomize