awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.