Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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(631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6

Replies (10) Good night (1352) Bad night (532)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

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(919): I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during http://tfl.nu/dav8

Replies (21) Good night (3389) Bad night (579)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

(540): View more from Virginia

Ew, and?!

(703): View more from Virginia

Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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(703): She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal. (540): Ew, and?! (703): Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards. http://tfl.nu/xpq2

Replies (36) Good night (964) Bad night (7741)
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(631): View more from New York

I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

(1-631): View more from New York

I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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(631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui

Replies (50) Good night (7216) Bad night (1865)
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(269): View more from Michigan

i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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(269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw

Replies (20) Good night (685) Bad night (5313)
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(214): View more from Texas

just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

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(214): just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high? http://tfl.nu/2d1b

Replies (38) Good night (8768) Bad night (726)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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(860): There is too much vodka and too much dick. http://tfl.nu/9jud

Replies (25) Good night (3602) Bad night (1711)
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(302): View more from Delaware

this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"

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(302): this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time" http://tfl.nu/89ij

Replies (10) Good night (1056) Bad night (1762)
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(239): View more from Florida

Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way

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(239): Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way http://tfl.nu/7r2y

Replies (13) Good night (4435) Bad night (872)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.

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(651): i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest. http://tfl.nu/l8w8

Replies (10) Good night (1497) Bad night (2219)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me

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(402): Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me http://tfl.nu/m5ly

Replies (7) Good night (843) Bad night (2311)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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(773): Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app. http://tfl.nu/h2ht

Replies (1) Good night (1187) Bad night (377)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.

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(610): Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours. http://tfl.nu/ytnd

Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (1068)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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(719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7

Replies (8) Good night (1564) Bad night (447)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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(270): Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/aglv

Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (359)

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