So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
