I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.