Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

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  (859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga? (502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine? http://tfl.nu/6ljy
  Replies (11) Good night (1608) Bad night (591)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (1284)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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  (312): Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job http://tfl.nu/iix6
  Replies (27) Good night (5030) Bad night (624)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with

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  (978): imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with http://tfl.nu/3tvk
  Replies (26) Good night (1436) Bad night (4901)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am

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  (201): She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am http://tfl.nu/vk3v
  Replies (20) Good night (4103) Bad night (860)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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  (541): i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar. http://tfl.nu/crfd
  Replies (7) Good night (3299) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  How come I never meet celebrities?

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  (410): Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield" (1-410): How come I never meet celebrities? http://tfl.nu/j09q
  Replies (7) Good night (3513) Bad night (857)
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  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (706) Bad night (2119)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.

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  (919): Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok. http://tfl.nu/xw7f
  Replies (7) Good night (2779) Bad night (596)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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  (407): Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy? http://tfl.nu/b8mt
  Replies (3) Good night (1835) Bad night (845)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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  (310): Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes. http://tfl.nu/zngo
  Replies (2) Good night (1357) Bad night (493)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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  (724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (660)
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  (760): View more from California

  Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.

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  (760): Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back. http://tfl.nu/zq1q
  Replies (1) Good night (811) Bad night (321)
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  (707): View more from California

  Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?

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  (707): Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick? http://tfl.nu/yjm9
  Replies (8) Good night (317) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (260)

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