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• (254): View more from Texas

  oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You're fat. Stop making excuses

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.

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