Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma