I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
