I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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