i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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