i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
