I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
