you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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