is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
