Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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