marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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