Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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