What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
