Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm really busy with my period
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