Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
