remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize