I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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