You can't special order awesome
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
