O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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