idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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