nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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