Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
