I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
