sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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