another moral hangover. fuck.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
