I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
