i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
