Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
