i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
