Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
