What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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