4 words: hood of his car
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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