Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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