let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
