Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
