Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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