playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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