she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
