Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
