SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He felt like a one man threesome
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
