Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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