Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
