Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
