...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and she was petting her beer can
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
