I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
