well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
