my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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