I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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