how can u be prego again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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