Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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