ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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