i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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