So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
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I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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