how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
